Digifluff beats Adobe at its own game

Digifluff Imagination Suite is here. Long rumored to be developing a rival product to Adobe Creative Suite, Digifluff FNS introduced the Digifluff Imagination Suite (DIS). Available for download in early September, DIS taps into the human imagination and brings it to life on a computer screen. Built on the powerful Digifluff Seamless Integration Platform (DSIP), DIS seamlessly integrates with your brain right out of the box. It reads the Internal Imagination Display (IID) available in most humans and automatically renders it in a pixel perfect replication.

One of the countless impressive features of DIS is its ability to work while you sleep. Simply turn on the DIS DreamReader functionality and DIS sees your dreams, renders them in full 3D, and has them ready for your review before you get out of bed. A ShowerReader feature is still in beta and is likely to be available as an upgrade download sometime early next year, or never.

After a brief demonstration, some salivating onlookers gave a standing ovation while others shit their pants. A few rabid hell raisers rushed the stage trying to get their hands on a pre-release copy so they could pirate it in China, Russia and the 4th floor. Several people attending the press conference likened the Digifluff Imagination Suite to the Greek mythology of Pandora's Box. "Creative professionals all over the world will feel the implications of DIS", said DeLester Dillwitter, an industry expert on these sort of things. “Now any half-wit hack can do what I do”, proclaimed Lyson Zadantislaus, a soon to be out of work art director/film maker/actor.

The west coast Digifluff department of consumer relations acknowledged receiving several credible bomb threats, multiple yo-mama jokes, and two incidents of indecent frontal exposure by a group of old, shriveled men posing as a Bay to Breakers flotilla.

An Adobe official, who denied he was an Adobe official, and would neither confirm nor deny Adobe was in discussion to buy Digifluff or the Digifluff Imagination Suite. Several Digifluff insiders acknowledged that serious talks have been underway with Adobe and a few side whispers where overheard complaining the Adobe legal contingent was eating all the good pastries and hogging the Diet Dr. Pepper.

Digifluff FNS is a privately held company. Digifluff FNS doesn’t make the things you never heard of. They make the things you never heard of better. No supermodels were fed during the posting of this post.